It’s difficult not to fantasize about what it might be like if advanced aliens were tuned in to our planet right now, downloading the latest news and gossip in an effort to ascertain the state of our civilization.

Hopefully, they will skip over certain aspects, such as the film “Don’t Look Up,” the present federal government, or the gigantic pen*s now strewn over a portion of Australia.

The Geelong Advertiser reports that a very huge phallic drawing has surfaced in the dry lake bed in Bellarine, a rural district of Victoria. It’s so large, in fact, that Google Maps has dubbed it the “Aussie Weiner.”

To be honest, there is a lot that can be seen from space. Our satellites — and even the hand-held camera equipment on board the International Space Station – have improved to the point where we can zoom in on the tiniest details. Having said that, we think it’s quite amazing that someone took the time and effort to carve out a sedimentological member big enough to be detected from above by satellites.

If you’ve spent your whole existence in a cave, you’re definitely aware that many humans, especially those with pen*ses, have been preoccupied with phallic objects since the dawn of time. From the paintings of Pompeii and Herculaneum to graffiti in practically every place on Earth, there is always an unneeded dangly, two-dimensional masculine thingy majiggy nearby.

Pen*ses visible from space are thus commonplace. There are a handful scattered across the globe, and little has changed through time.

Consider the United Kingdom: many years ago, a big guy with an absurd erection was carved into the chalk on the side of a hill in Dorset, and it remains there to this day. In 2007, students in Southampton, United Kingdom, employed weed killer to make a more viridian-colored pen*s visible from space on their school grass.

With that in mind, the Australian Weiner is a welcome addition to the club.

Hopefully, any exceptionally interesting aliens out there pay greater attention to gigantic geoglyphs like the Nazca Lines. Numerous amazing ancient Peruvian marvels stretch hundreds of metres in length and depict dozens of creatures and designs. They are a UNESCO World Heritage Site for a reason; they were constructed around 2,000 years ago.

However, aliens may deduce from all of these gigantic dickish portrayals that humanity has made little progress in the previous several thousand years.